Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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