I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
