you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
