Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
