Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal

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(858): I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal http://tfl.nu/7yck

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(718): View more from New York

no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.

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(718): no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours. http://tfl.nu/ektb

Replies (3) Good night (4137) Bad night (1088)
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(905): View more from Toronto

I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"

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(905): I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me" http://tfl.nu/rxcz

Replies (15) Good night (967) Bad night (2414)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it

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(651): i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it http://tfl.nu/fv1k

Replies (18) Good night (4965) Bad night (1318)
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(517): View more from Michigan

the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season

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(517): the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season http://tfl.nu/k0xy

Replies (55) Good night (5078) Bad night (898)
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(714): View more from California

Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.

(562): View more from California

You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.

(714): View more from California

Well someones bitter they didn't get any.

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(714): Hahaha you puked all over his shirt. (562): You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch. (714): Well someones bitter they didn't get any. http://tfl.nu/4mgl

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(540): View more from Virginia

3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently

(540): View more from Virginia

and skipped dinner

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(540): 3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently (540): and skipped dinner http://tfl.nu/igda

Replies (22) Good night (1203) Bad night (4602)
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(443): View more from Maryland

does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?

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(443): does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us? http://tfl.nu/0adv

Replies (7) Good night (1047) Bad night (3871)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.

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(505): His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left. http://tfl.nu/dyjo

Replies (6) Good night (2928) Bad night (960)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.

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(401): Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face. http://tfl.nu/dfnt

Replies (13) Good night (2514) Bad night (1030)
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(537): View more from

I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.

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(537): I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby. http://tfl.nu/uudp

Replies (8) Good night (1889) Bad night (555)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..

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(519): I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow.. http://tfl.nu/bd79

Replies (15) Good night (1826) Bad night (782)
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(949): View more from California

I have no words

(951): View more from California

Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.

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(949): I have no words (951): Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water. http://tfl.nu/wxcd

Replies (19) Good night (1138) Bad night (2425)
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(207): View more from Maine

I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone

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(207): I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone http://tfl.nu/crvf

Replies (2) Good night (1016) Bad night (1247)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"

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(630): Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?" http://tfl.nu/11ab

Replies (39) Good night (422) Bad night (1230)

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