I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.