well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
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Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.