Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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