My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
