Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
