We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
