moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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