I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
