Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
