took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
