just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
