escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
