; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
