We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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