You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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