I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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