K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
