I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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