In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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