if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
