You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
