ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She bit a glass in half.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize