She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
