I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
