somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
