i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
