In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My balls are so social today.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
