no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
