Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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