he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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