Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
