Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
