She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
