i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
