Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
