If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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