my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Randomize