I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
