Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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