My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm determined to sit on that face.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
