Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
