his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
