Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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