around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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