totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
