Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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