; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
