I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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