therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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