so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
where are my eyebrows?
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