She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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