she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
