Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
