I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
