I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
