quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize