You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
