are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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