I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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