I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
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she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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