Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
