Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
