carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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